Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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