Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
