I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
