my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
