Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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