At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Randomize
