Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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