i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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