her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This house was built for laser tag.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
