good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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