I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
