Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
