i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
It's blow job season.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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