I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Do vagina's smell?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
