Ambien. No doubt about it.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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