Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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