My first STD was from a foam party
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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