Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
