my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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