her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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