This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize
