If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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