Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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