He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
my liver is dry heaving
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
