ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
