If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
