we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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