My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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