is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
