I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
