can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
