I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Is it penis luge time yet?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm just crazy horny about you
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
