I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
