im so drunk with asians
where?
always
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
