I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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