it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
