I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
