This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
