Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Life is so much better after having sex.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
