the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
