I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
