That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
