STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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