That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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