My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
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