had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
