Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
