It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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