Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
