I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
organizing the empties. That sober.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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