i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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